Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is your brother Abel?” Genesis 4:9
God has a way of getting us into ourselves to discover how we have deviated from the truth.This is achieved by dropping questions.True prosperity follows right questions. Right questions open up a dialogue, then knowledge comes from the dialogue . Knowledge is a precursor to revelation, then revelation is a precursor to application and finally application(doing the word) is a precursor to manifestations.
Today’s question, I believe God want us to wrestle with, is Genesis 4:9. Until we sort to resolve our issues we have with our brothers (be it in the Lord or nuclear families) we are not going anyway in terms of maturing in the LORD.
So, did you lie to your brother? Did you borrow and did not pay? Did you promise something to a brother and changed your mind? Did you betray your brother? Do you have unresolved grudge with your brother? Is there forgiveness in your heart concerning a brother?
Someone will say, who is my brother? May the Holy Spirit help you to know the brother you have to engage and resolve issues.
Listen my brothers there is no offering, seed or sacrifice that can waiver resolving issues.If you’re to check with our Lord Jesus Christ, he will show you this scripture;
Matthew 5:21-25 21“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’ 22But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire. 23Therefore if you bring your GIFT to the ALTAR, and there REMEMBER that your brother has something AGAINST YOU, 24leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. 25Agree with your ADVERSARY quickly, while you are on the way with him, lest your adversary deliver you to the judge, the judge hand you over to the officer, and you be thrown into prison.
According to Jesus Christ, just being angry with a brother is like murder! Many of us we are initiating transactions on the altar and the devil(ADVERSARY,ACCUSER) has a right to arrest our finances, marriages and most importantly our souls,because doing that gives him the room to accuse us and until we go to that brother, we will shout in prayer and do all those things Pharisees will do but until this is resolved we will not experience true righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit.
Doing this process is not easy without the HolySpirit who gives us Jesus like humility!!!
Romans 8:14-15 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.”
Many of us are in bondage because of the spirit of religion peddled by fear. Him, who came to free us, Jesus Christ, did not come to restore another religion but a Kingdom.
So, if it’s about a Kingdom, we seek the kingdom of God, and its righteousness. Not Religion and its rituals.
Matthew 6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
For this piece, let me give you the differences.
Citizenship vs. Rituals Religion is about rituals, that is being a stickler to the laws and doctrines to achieve right standing with God. The Kingdom of God is about citizenship, rights, and privileges. The kingdom of God is about discovering of what was lost and not to lose it again! Knowing your rights and citizenship automatically puts you in right standing with God. I mean knowing that we are co-heirs of the Kingdom of God with Jesus Christ (Accept/receive Him as our Lord and Savior and what He did on the cross and maintain that victory settles it all)
Adam and Eve lost the Kingdom given to them, not religion.
They forfeited their rights to Satan and Christ came only to restore that
When Jesus was describing His purpose in Luke 19:10 (NK JV), he chose words filled with great wealth and victory for our lives. He said: “For the Son of Man has come to save that which was lost.”
Freedom vs. bondage Religion brings bondage through instilling fear like if you don’t do this you will be cursed, but the Kingdom of God is about you dominating ,though ,not people but systems.It’s about you being free from doctrines, myth and diabolic cultures. It’s about freedom!!!
Outwards vs. Inwards Religion uses the system to dominate people by controlling their minds and belief system. This is achieved through propaganda, conspiracy theories and lies. The Kingdom tells you to dominate systems, It trains you how to think. It opens mindsets by using parables. These parables encourage people to ask questions, thereby liberating them. In other words, religion empowers outward systems to control people whereas the Kingdom of God empowers people from inward man to subdue the outward systems and cultures!
Here is an example of how and when Jesus shows us this principle.
Mark 2:27 And He said to them, The Sabbath was made for man, and not man for the Sabbath.
This scripture below shows that the Kingdom is from within;
Luke 17:20-21 Now when He was asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, He answered them and said, “The kingdom of God does not come with observation; nor will they say, ‘See here!’ or ‘See there!’ For indeed, the kingdom of God is within you.”
Hopefully, this was a teaser for you to search more about the Kingdom of God.Don’t go back into bondage again. Be free in Jesus Christ!
1 Timothy 4:1-2 1Now the Spirit expressly says that in latter times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons, 2speaking lies in hypocrisy, having their own conscience seared with a hot iron,
Speaking generally, if our context is wrong, then the conclusion is wrong too! This is the major reason why we don’t agree on many aspects, even though we might have the same God and share the same faith. It’s about how we extrapolate principles and doctrines from the Word of God. The reason Jesus Christ clashed with Jews was the issue of doctrines (healing on the Sabbath, calling Himself He was the Son of God) and other issues of life like divorce. You see the Word of God was and is supposed to free us but alas, it was and is being used to put souls into bondage again and even more before we know Christ.
For example, the Jews were comfortable to just divorce their wives and life goes on, as long as they issue a divorce certificate. Let’s look at How Jesus approached this issue!
Matthew 19:8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.
So, you see that’s how we come up with false or incomplete doctrines, hard hearts that cannot receive the truth, especially if the truth is not on our side, or we want to justify our, cruelty, stupidity, heartless, pathetic, cowardice motives.
Let me give you another myth. We grew up being taught about names of God and here is another name, Nissi(Banner)
Exodus 17:15 Moses built an altar and called it The LORD is my Banner.
Here we go, it was not the name of God. It was the NAME OF AN ALTAR, but someone taught us that that’s one of the NAMES OF GOD and nobody bothered to check for themselves, and we use it in our churches and prayers.
So, the scripture is clear that you will encounter myths and doctrines that have nothing to do with Jesus Christ but pure propaganda. No wonder why it’s difficult to find a believer who is a critical thinker who is in good books with the church leadership, unless if the leadership promotes that kingdom culture. Instead of building kingdom minded people, we are busy establishing systems that build religious kind of Pharisees who violently oppose any superior thinker like Jesus Christ. You see, human beings have a god aspect in them and whenever you want to dominate them through propaganda and conspiracy theories, they feel the suffocation and fight for their freedom.
Christ Jesus said, “Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” (John 8:32)
Practical steps
1Receive any teaching like a child. What do I mean? There is that curiosity and sponginess of baby that needs to be restored in us. What does a baby do? The baby ask questions and is very curious to try out or check what you say to them. Even what you forbid, they want to check it out! This is what the bible call the noble church, and in the world we call them critical thinkers:
Luke 18:17 Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it.”
Acts 17:11 NASB1995 Now these were more noble-minded than those in Thessalonica, for they received the word with great eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see whether these things were so
Now, asking questions is what we lost as we were being conditioned by prevailing cultures and education systems. Most of our education systems were established in such a manner to give us WHAT to think, not to train us HOW to think.
Now ask questions with the prism of the word of God. Anything that doesn’t fit into the word of God, is a myth or demonic doctrine and deserves to be thrown away. We also need to ask right questions for us to have right answers.
When a principle is thrown at you, check; Intent, reason, propaganda, conspiracy theories.
Most of us we are not who are supposed to be in Christ but what people expect us to be.We are products of systems!The sad thing is they those who come up with these doctrines they don’t follow them they use them on naive people to control them!
Matthew 23:4 They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to move them with their finger.
Thank you for reading and for the want of helping one another you can share some widely accepted doctrines which you are familiar with, and you know it’s not biblical. God bless and I will be happy to hear from you!
In my journey as a married man and the interaction with my friends who are also married, I have discovered that they are silent and indirect questions that our female counterparts asks. If you look closely, you will begin to understand that these questions expresses their definition of love to them. This is also how God created them and if you fulfil them you will pass the test of a good husband and father of the family. There is a dimension where you sometimes find yourself fathering your wife, sometimes leading her and sometimes being her lover. You need to operate in all these dimensions as a man. The buck should stop with you. You find some men complaining about these dynamics, but that’s part of accepting the responsibility. Now let’s start with how God expect us to carry out our duties as husbands. Please note that this posts is bit long because I decided not to make them two parts. So kindly bare with me on this one!
Ephesians 5:25-29 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church
Now in this installment we will explore what that scripture means to men, women and to God.
Leadership A woman wants to be led and they assess and question your ability to lead her from the day of asking her out and every day of your lives together. They question about their security with you .They want to know if they have a future with you or it’s a temporary thing. Many men wonder why some women wants to get as much money and resources from them. The answer is simple they don’t see a future with you that in some instances unless the women has serous financial indiscipline. It may also mean that you haven’t convinced them that you will be there in their lives forever so they want to get as much as they can. They want to make hay while the sun shines. The reason is you have failed to inspire in that area. Your wife wants you to demonstrate commitment not to explain it to her. She wants to see it.
John 10:15 just as the Father knows me and I know the Father and I lay down my life for the sheep.
Matthew 16:18 And I also say to you, that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it
This how your wife wants you to be committed, they want you to lead like Jesus Christ, and they want you to love her as Christ loved the church. They want you to guarantee her that nothing shall tear the marriage apart. Give her your commitment both in word and through actions. Show her that you are capable of standing against the hell after your marriage. The most area being attacked by the devil is marriage because marriage institution is the primary place where parenting should take places, so when a marriage is attacked parenting is attacked and morality and social values goes down in our societies and generations are destroyed.Think about people like Hitler who was not properly fathered and massacred millions of people when he assumed power. We will have more unethical business leaders, political leaders and many things are affected. So, a man who understands the dimension of defending the marriage and never give up is ideal to many women. Your wife becomes uneasy when you are always quick to press exit button whenever you go through arguments and disagreements, she wants you to show her that no matter what, you will come out of that situation. As a man avoid saying words like I want out, I am tired of this marriage. In other words, show her that you’re capable of keeping your vows to the end and willingness to resolve issues without suggesting quitting the marriage. Marriage is a covenant which means it’s for life not a contract which has an expiry date and conditions in which it is nullified or deemed void.
Undefiled bed There are many things women can tolerate and easily forgive, disloyalty and unfaithfulness is not one them
Hebrews 13:14 Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
Your wife wants to know that you’re hers alone, she is not willing to share and no one does even you as a man you cannot take that so why do you think your wife will. We are living in the world where almost everything is being sexualized. The music, adverts, movies to mention a few, that’s why sexual immorality is rampant. Innately, you are not immune to sexual temptation, so you don’t have to put yourself in compromising positions and circumstances. The reason it’s difficult for anybody to understand and forgive someone who cheats is because cheating is not an accident. You think about, you meditate you, plan and practice dodging and how to play safe and to make sure that your wife doesn’t have to catch you. There is also time involved, there was communication that was involved, that’s why your wife is not comfortable with you chatting with another lady because there is no cheating that happens without communication. There is also money and resources involved. You have to travel, book a hotel room using money. So to avoid putting yourself at risk, use same passwords, or you should know each other’s passwords. Let your wife have access to your phone some actually allow their children access to their phones, why? Because that’s a declaration that you have nothing to hide. Don’t visit a lady alone to her place, take your wife or another man with you. This shows the woman you are visiting that you will not have anything secretive between the two of you and if she had any ulterior motives that will be the end. Your wife should also know that you are visiting a woman and how long its going to take, in that way you cover yourself just in case someone sees you and calls your wife or start spreading rumors. You have to understand that rumor destroys marriages. I’m sure you know that we are surrounded with busy bodies and gossipers who are looking for the next scandal to broadcast. Finally, let there be financial accountability your wife have the right to know all your expenses because for you to cheat it takes expenses. So don’t sow unfaithfulness in your marriage. In many marriages where a man is faithful, a woman follows suit and the opposite is true. Some women cheat out of revenge of which I am not advocating for revenge but as a man, you have to understand the possible outcome of your actions. I will give you two scriptures as witnesses:
Galatians 6:7Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.
Hosea 8:7 …or they sow the wind, and they shall reap the whirlwind. So, whatever you do in moderation, you wife will and is capable of doing it excessively. Once you start cheating, your wife will always picks it up.
Affirmation The third thing your wife needs from you is affirmations, here, we are talking about appreciating her and maintaining an atmosphere of positivity. As a husband, you need to train yourself to speak strong words of affirmation. The life of your wife revolves around her body and clothes that is her image needs to be in good shape. I have moments I regret when I commented adversely to the anatomy of my wife. Saying negative words concerning your wife`s body is like stripping off her amour. She will start to be shy being naked before you. She needs to be told by you, the person who matters the most how beautiful her body is, how intelligent she is. She needs to be complimented by you when she dress up, learn to have one or two positive comments about her makeup and clothes. Tell her you are beautiful more often. If she hears that from other people and not you she gets disturbed. As a man, you have to learn most of us we were not raised in positive environments, so no one trained us to pick positive things and compliment. My wife is improving on her cooking skills because I genuinely compliment her efforts to look for recipes and cook outstanding and delicious food every day. So, her effort needs to be noticed and applauded. And I have seen her putting more and more effort in that area and all other areas that I affirm her in.
Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised
Another area from that scripture, learn to praise your wife in public. Acknowledge her presence and the good things she is doing to you. Tell the public how important she is to you genuinely. I remember when I shared how my wife was cooking 5-star restaurant meals at home among other couples. That really ministered to her. So, this is what your wife wants from you.
Progress Your wife expects progress from the marriage. Women resent stagnation, in fact even men do.She wants to know if you will help her realize her dreams. She wants to make sure that she is not stuck because of marriage. I married my wife without a driver’s license and as we speak she took her provisional driver’s license, and we have availed funds for her driving lesson and I promised her support until she gets a driver’s license not only that I promised her a car. She needs to feel relevant in the marriage. Your wife secretly ask you if she is needed in the marriage. Most men further damage their wife’s morale by not considering her in decision-making process of the family and even business. Your wife will cry for the picture of being the one you chose to come out clearly. Aim to grow together even professionally some men don’t invest in their wives, so they grow out of each other and start to be ashamed of her in public, maybe because she lack professionalism and good manners. You will start to feel unequally yoked you want a woman of your class. The truth is that is the beginning of your downfall. Whatever you imagine doing with that world-class women do it with your wife. Let me tell you something the devil wants you to lose your marriage but once you lose your marriage that’s your end. Don’t trade your marriage or the wife of your youth for anything.
Hebrews 12:16 Ensure that there be no immoral or godless person like Esau, who sold his birthright for a single meal.
So, your wife should grow with you. Pastures looks greener from afar, but it’s not always the case when you get closer.
Don’t undermine your wife. There is a tendency to treat your wife like your child, and trust me she doesn’t want to be treated like that. Your wife submits and your children are to be subjected to your authority, and don’t confuse the two. Listen to her, empathize and talk to her. Don’t tell your wife that you are too emotional, in other words you are telling her not to be a human because that is how your woman was created. She is an emotional being and any attack on her emotions is attacking her humaninity. I was stuck in my marriage a long time because I was failing to understand my wife emotionally. The greatest contributor to your growth in life and at work is tied to emotional intelligence. What to say, how to say something and when to say is very critical in your marriage. We are talking about the ability to communicate. About 90% of our arguments are solidly based on inability to communicate eloquently and understand your emotions and the emotions of your wife. What differentiates us from animals is our ability to communicate clearly. So, your wife expects you to understand her emotions. That’s why you need to avoid arguments when emotions are very high. This is your take home, high emotions high clarity of thought, low emotions low clarity of thought. These are all dynamics you have to understand and this doesn’t mean you have to bottle up issues, all issues must be resolved amicably.
Entertainment and pleasure When a woman is being married, she expects to enjoy sex with you. You need to invest in sex education, study each other and establish what makes your wife tick or enjoy sex more. Some men don’t mind leaving their wives hanging as long as they have reached orgasm, that’s very selfish and insensitive. After sex, learn to talk about it and ask questions like how was it is and allow her to give an honest feedback. If she is not satisfied, her answer doesn’t make you less a man. It doesn’t mean she is comparing you with anyone, she just wants to make the most out of your marriage. Your wife is not expecting you to be rigid and all that holy and sanctified, she wants to play with you and have romantic moments with you.
Ecclesiastes 9:9 Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which He has given to you under the sun; for this is your reward in life and in your toil in which you have labored under the sun.
You should enjoy with the wife you love. The bible is clear that you should see this pleasure as your reward from God. So imagine living all your days struggling in your marriage never to realize that you should be enjoying and God expects you to enjoy. You have to understand that sexless life is good as dead. Many people are going out of their marriages to look for sex elsewhere.
1 Corinthians 7:3-5 3The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
The bibles allow us to agree not to have sex during fasting but immediately after the fast it commands us to go back to sex because of the devil can come even after the fast. I received an email from one of my followers and she wanted me to adopt her opinion that sexual urges can go or die through prayer and fasting or casting. This is the most distortion of the truth I have ever heard. Sexual desire is biological you can’t cast them away but you can have self-control which is the fruit of the spirit. But every man has a breaking point the problem is you don’t know how far you are from your breaking point. After all the bible prohibit us to test God!
Imagine, even Jesus Christ was tempted after fasting 40 days and 40 nights. So we are not immune either. The bible advises us not to deprive each other of sex. So, God expects that if one of you wants, both of you should want it It’s contrary to the feminist campaigns but I would prefer God’s counsel because He is the inventor and manufacturer of sex and marriage. Finally you should know that some issues can only be solved through sex, and you don’t need counselling or talking about them. People who are having sex more frequently are happier and have fewer issues in marriage than those who have it once in a while.
Pursue A woman needs to be pursued and the silent question she will ask you is, “Are you investing in our marriage “You need to keep pursuing her and showing deep and sincere love. It’s the nature of men to pursue, but woman wants to be pursued. Celebrate her birthdays and maximize during events where other men are spoiling their wives join in. The problem is: When other women receive gifts they post on social media and your wife will be asking what about me? Some women want to be posted on social media and public praised publicly like that, don’t say it is childish if that’s what she wants. It’s the small things that matters and remembers it’s no longer about you alone and about both of you. Invest in your marriage through going out with her for dates. Only the two of you remember marriage is for two people, not three. Marriage is enough with or without children. Children are part of your family not marriage,, so there are moments you need to go out the two of you and there are times you need to go out as a family with your children. Text her words of love and romantic stuff that used to do when you were still boyfriend and girlfriend.
There is nothing that refreshes your wife like surprising her with “she money”. This is the money she can use to buy her things outside family stuff like bills and food. Its money to spoil herself. I started doing it to wife. It works and it refreshes her
Fulfil her social needs. Women are social beings, and anything that inhibits and doesn’t promote that aspect kills their joy. Women loves celebrations, socializing and independence. The question they will ask you is, “am I a free soul outside this marriage. I am independent, or this marriage has chained me and placed me in prison where everything revolves around house chores, feeding babies and taking care of my husband.” Allow your wife to have free time with her girlfriends and her family members. There are people she grew up with, and she had established bonds with them. Don’t be a breaker of those bonds and soul ties.
Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
Don’t be harsh with your wife but be patient and be at easy with her. Some men treat their wives like their children and give them strict rules. They tell their wives not to associate with other friends and even their relatives. Some of the things you don’t need to argue with your wife, allow God to change her if you sense that there are things that need to be adjusted.
There is a principle as a man that you need to use. The principle is called the budding rod principle and it’s derived from Numbers 17. People challenged Aaron’s right to be the priest, and God asked Moses to allow those who complaining against Aaron and Aaron himself to bring their rods in the tabernacle. The following day, Aaron rod had budded. This was a sign of God’s endorsement of Aaron leadership and authority. So in the family avoid arguments just surrender the issue to God and see how the situation turns around without you going through heartaches.
Physical Appearance Your wife expects you to adore her physique and promote it. Since she has committed herself to you, you become her show and audience. She doesn’t expect to hear her the whole world commenting about her skin, clothes and jewelry and not from you. She doesn’t want you to comment only, but to pay for them too.
Ephesians 5:25-28
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself
The verses above are clear. The same way Christ loved the church, cleans her with word and present her to God radiant without wrinkle or blemish. That’s what the bible commands us to do, we have to make our wives glow. When people comments about the beauty of your wife, you should have confidence that there is God’s natural beauty, but there is also your additional beauty through your investments on skin products, hair, nails, and clothes.
Woman wants a provider Your woman wants you to provide, create wealth and have healthy ambition or drive. The question she asks is, “Are you a provider?” 1 Timothy 5:8 Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever
The scripture sounds hard, but that’s the truth. That’s what your wife want too. The bible says if you fail to provide for the own family, you are worse than an unbeliever. Father means a provider, so you have to be restless if you are incapacitated to provide for your wife and children. Even if you are too lose your job or business. Assure her that it’s temporary and show her that you are trying. Don’t be discouraged even if she starts to doubt your project. Sometimes as a man you find yourself doing a project which is not profitable, and your wife will discourage you sometimes with words.
1 Samuel 30:6 Now David was greatly distressed, for the people spoke of stoning him because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and his daughters. But David strengthened himself in the LORD his God.
Occasionally you find yourself in David’s shoes. The problem is you have been looking for encouragement to the people who you are supposed to encourage. You are supposed to strengthen yourself in the Lord through scriptures like these. There is posture and positivity that you should bring home to inspire everyone, including your wife.
Defender/Cover Women need someone who can protect them from her in-laws that is your relatives. She needs to be protected from your friends and from your work, career, or ministry. Let’s start with in-laws. Every relationship you have should have roles, rules, and boundaries. Your mother and siblings, they are not part of your marriage. The bible clearly mentions that, and the two shall become one. Not three or four but two. So, no one should have a say in your marriage, yes they can support but as a husband, you should clarify it for them that there is are clear boundaries when it comes to your marriage. In my marriage, I empowered my wife to handle any financial assistance that goes to our siblings or parents and of course that is if we are in agreement. They should know that you are one, and it’s your responsibility as a husband to paint that picture and if need be talk to your relatives. There are parents who struggle to let go their sons and release them to run their families, and this is a recipe for disaster for your marriage. They think that they are being replaced by your wife, and they try to fight her and many uninformed men they aid their parents to fight their wives. See as a man you are commanded by God to love your wife, not your parents because it’s natural to love your parents but as for your wife it’s not natural you have to practice and grow in love towards her. The bible commands you to honor your parents. So, you are expected to honor your parents and at the same time love your wife. You can do both and synchronize them, so it’s a call to multitask. There is a whole chapter I wrote in detail about mama’s boy and their legibility to be in marriage. So, you are the first line of defense when it come to your marriage. There are other relatives, especially in Africa who think that if a wife is given more authority in marriage it’s a taboo, and normally, they associate it with love potion. That mindset is backward and ungodly and it has resulted in many abuses and divorces. You also need to protect your wife against your work or career. This calls for setting your priorities right. For me God is first, then my wife then children followed by my work or career. You should not compete with your wife when it comes to time allocation. You can resign from work or from ministry, but you cannot resign to be a husband or a father. These roles are for life are part of the marriage covenant. So, you see the order or priority answers the question of what needs protection more between your work and your words. Don’t through statements like, “I need to take care of you from this job to your wife” This shows that you value your work more than her.
This protection goes to your friends. There are friends who don’t want to be replaced, and they take long to come.to terms that when you get married things change. You now have to account for very minute and cent to your wife. So, they continue to chat and communicate during odd hours or during family time. To your wife it sounds disrespectful, and soon she will start to resent them. There are friends that you will to lose, especially female friends. Most women are not comfortable with close flame friends, and they are right. Why would want to keep female friends? So protect your wife from them, respect her concerns, don’t drop statements like, “No one should come between me and my friends.”
Pray together. Women who fear the Lord expects you to pray for her and with her. Even those who don’t love God that much, they expect to be married to a God-fearing man. That’s why if a woman wants to be married, they will come to church. Learn to read scriptures and pray together. Watch this, if you don’t pray together, you will stray away from each other. There is no institution under so much attack from the enemy like marriage. So many people they go through divorce not the day appear in court but the day they stop from praying together, that’s when they start to stray and grow apart. You need to submit yourself to God, resist the devil, and he will not have option but to flee, thus James 4:7. Time and again, God wants you to submit before him as one. Your wife is searching for someone who can lead her spiritually, and they moni2 your own spiritual development. That’s why your wife is happy she sees that you are getting close to your Pastor and when you start to dodge him it becomes an issue.
Now is here is the revelation when you submit to God, your wife follows and then your children. That’s how you father generations because not only your children. Because what your children learn from you, they teach their children, they become godly leader, kingdom business people who are full integrity, they become honest politicians. Thus, how you become patriarchal, God takes over and sometimes the whole world will know your children but you, they might not know or remember. We know of great man like Billy Graham, but we know nothing about the parents. Strong marriage means strong parenting and what the devil fights the most is parenting. So, marriage is more that you only, that’s why it must be completely submitted to God.
Hello saints, I felt like we should continue with some points I believe can enrich our marriages. We spoke about the first two points of what men need and these were Jesus Christ and Support, today we continue with the following;
Assurance Many men are not sure if their wives will stay if they lose the business or their job. Man need that safety, and they need to be so certain if you will be there for better and for worse. He is not really moved when everything is okay, but when he needs you the most. The signs will show when a man temporarily go through a rough or dry phase of his life, do you, as a woman remain soft, or you show frustration and become so rude and less understanding. This will start to send signals to your husband that you will not be around if that situation remains for a prolonged period.
Proverbs 25:24 It is better to live in a corner of the roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman.
You see how bad it is, imagine someone opting to be scotched in the heat than, staying under the same room with you. This is how men are wired. They need to know that you understand the fact that it’s okay to make mistakes, and It’s normal to fail. Some women act as if a man must not fail. So pray to God for a large and generous heart. He will help you.
Dad’s time When your husband requests time alone, it doesn’t necessarily mean that something is wrong. As women, we understand that you are social beings so sometimes when the husband requests some time alone, some women will start to ask questions like, “Are you okay or what’s wrong with me lately ”. It’s natural for your husband to pray alone, Jesus Christ was always in this habit.
Matthew 14:22-23 Immediately, Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. 23 After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountain side by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone.
Some men want their time to watch soccer, a walk alone in the garden. Some needs time alone, maybe with his followers on social media like me😂😂😂.
NB, This doesn’t take the right from women to know what the husband will be doing, with who and for how long. There is an aspect of time accountability required for this to be a blessing to both of you. That’s why you need to have other social circles, or do something that you can alone or outside your husband and good friends for your own social life.
Sex and intimacy Most believers agree that sex in marriage is a form of worship, if so, why not do it as many times as you can. This is a major need for men. I am conscious that we have organizations and people who are pro feminism and I know there are men who are abusive, but I will focus on what God expects not the perverted side of our societies.
Let’s read this passage of scripture together
1 Corinthians 7:1-5 Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his wife, and each woman with her husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her body, but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his body, but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Men are going out of their marriages because of sexless marriages. God expects you as wife not to deny your husband and from this scripture God, expects that when a man wants sex the wife should be ready and even when a wife wants it the husband should also be ready. Sex should not be treated as a favor or obligation. There are wives who manipulate their husband through sex or starving the husband because they want something to be done first before the husband gets the sex. It doesn’t work that way. The bible is clear, you are opening a door for the enemy to tempt you and as a couple.
Proverbs 14:1 says that a foolish woman destroys her marriage.
“The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her hand” Proverbs 14:1
Let me end here today!!! Please let me know what you think. These might be true to me, but I want to hear your side of things. God bless you!
Hello my brothers and sisters, today I have decided to avail this piece just to invest in our marriages or future marriages. We are focusing on what, in opinion, think every married man needs or yearns for. As a woman you are married, it doesn’t end there, that’s the beginning. You will discover that most of our families we grew up from, we were not taught much. Maybe you were just taught to do house chores; doing the cooking, dishes, taking care of children and cleaning the house. That is good and most women they do that but more often the husband goes out to get another lady, the question is why? Take time to go through this post and learn, but don’t just learn. We have a challenge because we have a so many gaps between what we know and what we do practically. We need to apply the wisdom therein;
Every man or let’s just say every marriage requires God or Savior in addition to their advantage of being two is better than one mantra. That verse 12 of the scripture above put great emphasis based on a three strands cord. As a woman, you need to make sure you compel your husband to serve God, not take him away from Him. Manage judiciously the moments of praying together, and if possible, pray every day together. You have to pray together to keep ego out of your marriage, pride, altercations, lies etc. Prayer is like the force of gravity. Gravity keeps earthly things from spilling out of earth, but not only that, it also keeps foreign agents from entering the earth. Prayer does that to your marriage, it keeps genuine love for each in the marriage and keeps out the enemy.
James 4:7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Coming together to pray is submitting yourselves as one flesh to God, resist the enemy as one flesh, then the result becomes God’s responsibility to keep the enemy out. The enemy has no option but to flee. This is how a simple of a three strand cord is built. You have to understand that before God established any community, country, church family, he created and established marriage. He brought Adam and Eve together first, before other institutions. God is the one who invented marriage, so it needs to be kept submitted to God.
The devil searches for opportunities to attack the marriage. If you don’t come together in prayer, you stray away from each other. So, when that happens, the devil destroys the marriage. Divorce is not a small thing because destroying a marriage it means parenting has been destroyed. Children are taught morals better when a father and a mother are together.
Every child needs a father for love and discipline and to be shown the direction to the father who is God. A biological father should be available to give a good picture of a true Father in Heaven. So, when parenting is destroyed; leaders are destroyed, generations are destroyed, businesses are destroyed. When the order of God has been destroyed, especially the foundations. Marriages are foundations for all other institutions created by God. They all come from a marriage of one husband and wife.
Ps 11:3 If the foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do? When you have revelation of marriage as foundations, you do whatever it takes to keep the marriage intact because you get to understand that it’s no longer about you only. You will become so thirst for knowledge and wisdom pertaining to the subject and defend it with all you have. That’s why God hates divorce and not the people who divorce, you need to get the revelation right there. If you divorced, God doesn’t hate you. He hates the process, the pain, hatred, bitterness, loss of proper parenting to children and possible death and if you wanted to go that route of divorce, think about these things before you proceed. The devil assigns immoral women to destroy marriages, God keeps your marriage from these immoral women. You see, polygamy is not part of God plan, so you have to pray that you don’t go through that experience. Some people quote what Abraham, Jacob, Solomon did, but there is no single scripture where God supports that. Just because some men did it, it doesn’t mean that God allows it alright. The original plan is shown in the scripture below!
Matthew 19:4-6 4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined, let no one separate.”
There you have it. Marriage is defined by God as the coming together of one husband and one wife, and the bible says they shall become one. So praying together keeps that oneness together. That’s why it’s a bad idea for unmarried and unrelated people of opposite sex or those in courtship to pray together alone, especially when nothing formal like marriage or its process has been initiated. Prayer has that power to cement two people to be one. Power travels through relationships, not through empty words. That’s why some can cast out demons in the name of Jesus Christ and some like the sons of Sceva. The power was not in uttering the name of Jesus Christ, it was in the fellowship and relationship with Jesus Christ, through fellowship even Jesus Christ will usually be alone praying to the Father. So, it’s now time to have power couples who will cause other people to obey God through the quality of their marriage.
Men need Jesus Christ Eccl 4:9-12 9 Two are better than one because they have a good return for their work: 10 If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! 11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? 12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Support The other thing expected of you with your husband is support and shared responsibilities. If you are full time or stay home wife. Keep the house clean, keep the right atmosphere in the home, wash clothes and take care of children with all diligence. Societal pressures have painted stay home wives as none productive, but you know what this can be done intentionally for the purposes of raising children, unlike trusting the services of housemaids. Imagine a 3 months old baby just dumped to the care of someone. A baby that cannot talk! Some families prefer a wife to work from home whilst raising the baby. If you are in the corporate world you need to share the bills, times have changed. Most economies are weakened presently, even those great economies in the world. So, you must have that understanding. The day you say I do your money and his money becomes your money. It is better you train yourself to use the word “our”. Some ladies love the parents so much maybe they used to depend on you, don’t send them money without your husband’s agreement. The bible says you shall leave your parents to cleave to the other, there is a process of leaving or separation with your parents and joined to your husband. Many marriages were ruined by parents who don’t understand this dimension. You need to choose what is important and protect your marriage first. I’m not saying don’t support your parents, I’m just saying there should be financial integrity and agreement as far as how your finances are concerned. So, it’s not only financially, there is need for moral support. If your husband is doing something, be there for him. Some of us we get opportunities to speak in public, you see, there is something that happens if the voice of your spouse is on top of everyone agreeing and supporting you. Don’t be shy to stand with him or her. The support goes a long way in strengthening your union. If he is trying to establish something, it might be a business, find where you can put your hands on. He needs that support. If he is a Pastor, attend his meetings and services. Follow his social meeting sites and periodically support the work.
I have many things to share but let me reserve them for the next Installment. God bless you for reading and support and let me know what you think in the comment section!
Greetings my brothers and sisters! I have a scripture which might be so real to most of us and here goes the scripture,
Job 1:3-5 3Also, his possessions were seven thousand sheep, three thousand camels, five hundred yoke of oxen, five hundred female donkeys, and a very large household, so that this man was the greatest of all the people of the East. 4And his sons would go and feast in their houses, each on his appointed day, and would send and invite their three sisters to eat and drink with them. 5So it was, when the days of feasting had run their course, that Job would send and sanctify them, and he would rise early in the morning and offer burnt offerings according to the number of them all. For Job said, “It may be that my sons have sinned and cursed God in their hearts.” Thus Job did regularly.
Here are facts from this scripture:
1 Job had affluence, and he could afford his children a weekly party.
2He knew that they were high chances that the life of partying has its potential sins against God.
3He knew that these children might say in their hearts, “We have everything we want in life, why do we need God?”
Now my question is, was Job supposed to blanket cover these regular partying with cleansing ceremonies, or he was supposed to reign in and put some parenting measures bearing in mind that these days its not only enjoying only but those orgiastic frenzy where there is sexual immorality and drug abuses in those parties?
Just looking at the word profanity, we get to think of the “F” words and so forth. Profanity is treating precious, holy and spiritual things as common. The person who is known for that reputation in the bible is Esau. So just like Jezebel is/was not only a person but a spirit, so is Esau was not only and still is not only a person but a spirit which is troubling our generation today. Let’s expose this vicious and destiny altering spirit so that it’s weakened in our lives, our children’s lives and communities.
Genesis 25:29-34 29Now Jacob cooked a stew, and Esau came in from the field, and he was weary. 30And Esau said to Jacob, “Please feed me with that same red stew, for I am weary.” Therefore his name was called Edom. 31But Jacob said, “Sell me your birthright as of this day.” 32And Esau said, “Look, I am about to die; so what is this birthright to me?” 33Then Jacob said, “Swear to me as of this day.” So he swore to him, and sold his birthright to Jacob. 34And Jacob gave Esau bread and stew of lentils; then he ate and drank, arose, and went his way. Thus Esau despised his birthright.
From the scripture above, this spirit causes us to be vulnerable to canal urges to the extent that nothing matters anymore except you getting that thing. Science has proven that a person cannot die of hunger within twenty-four hours, but maybe after 40 days that’s when real hunger comes. So, Esau was not about to die, he was about to lose his destiny only. […32And Esau said, “Look, I am about to die; so what is this birthright to]. When Esau spirit features, it makes you lose a blessing which will otherwise cause you to have quality things you so much desire without loosing your relationship with God.
What I mean is the blessing of the firstborn was the blessing of double portion of what the father had. Esau was already a billionaire because he was entitled to the double portion of the wealth Isaac had, which was (what Abraham had plus what Isaac worked for).Because Isaac inherited wealth from Abraham. Bringing this closer to home, Esau could own a restaurant not only a bowl of red soup)
This spirit has corrupted our senses and goes on to possess our eyes gates, ear gates, mouth gates so that we desire freshly and glamorous things over spiritual needs of our souls. This spirit causes the body of Christ to be blinded and short-sighted. During its advance, people usually seems to have stopped to use their minds only to regret later on when they would have lost their blessings! People are tempted to get riches, unholy sex and other distasteful things and all these we can get in a righteous way. It offers us to have what is already ours, but by violating God’s principles.
This spirit is hated by God.
Romans 9:13 English Standard Version As it is written, “Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated
This is that spirit which causes young people to look lustfully at young ladies/men and blinds them to even see a potential godly spouse, just because they are looking for money and good looks over spiritual aspects like his or her closeness to God. So from courtship the foundation of those marriages will be already compromised.
So, this spirit causes us to look for riches than righteousness, We look for fame over grace. We choose money over anointing of the Holy Spirit.
Here is what the word of God is saying to us:
Hebrews 12:16-17 Make sure that no one is immoral or godless like Esau, who traded his birthright as the firstborn son for a single meal. 17You know that afterward, when he wanted his father’s blessing, he was rejected. It was too late for repentance, even though he begged with bitter tears.
Some people play with God like their toys, believing that they will always be forgiven. Probably Esau used to trade on those dangerous grounds until the day God could not save him. He cried and could not get what he treated casually.This spirit is also responsible for scandals among great men and women of God.Just like Esau the day you sell your birthright is not the day that you will be exposed. It comes when the moment just before or during your prime time.When the scandal is most likely to completely destroy you that’s when the enemy triggers the button.So we need to really seek God’s help now!!!!
Short Prayer for deliverance
You can repeat this prayer wherever you are:
Lord God, I come in your heavenly righteous court. I appear before the mercy seat and I repent from the sin of fellowship with the Esau spirit. In any area I treated Holy things as common, I repent today and plead the blood of Jesus Christ, which is able to cleanse me. Help me now to love your promises in your Word. Sensitize me to the things of the Spirit. I expose this spirit and I choose voluntarily to disconnect from it and connect myself to the Holy Spirit. Let this declaration be enforced by your holy angels assigned for this cause. I declare that I am free today! Amen!
Another enclosure Arriving and about to enter the great enclosure
Hello family! I was away for a mini Holiday and family reunion. I wasn’t able to interact with you for the past 3 or 4 days, the thing I like the most about blogging. The other thing, my like button is not working, it seems to have been disabled by WordPress.
So, the other thing is yesterday was my birthday, and it’s astonishing how God caused me to be refreshed. My brother took us as a family to this great place and my father in the Lord bought me a delicious cake. I would to share with you my experience. My brother took me to what we call Great Zimbabwe ruins. The ancient name was Dzimbadzemabwe(House of stones). Apparently this is where the name of my country came from, Zimbabwe. So, I was reflecting about my nation what we went through as a nation and still standing could be shaped by the name of our country, house of stones. Names are destinies, for sure! Couple of weeks ago I received a check from one of my dear friend in the Lord and blogger from the USA, whose work and consistence I really respect. We couldn’t cash the check because of our economic and political situation. That’s how bad it is over here, our people are scattered over the whole world looking for greener pastures and wherever they are, they really make things happen, most Zimbabweans are resourceful, hardworking, and faithful. They are also peaceful!
Inside the great enclosure
The stones you see in those photos were built without mortar 300 years ago, and they are still standing. The great enclosure was for protection during warfare times and there was Persian and Chinese pottery which was discovered from the site, which means it was also an international trade center.
Mountain view
So, my birthday reflection and gift to you is about the power of intention I learnt from the visit to this place.
The verse coming to my mind is this one:
Genesis 11:1-5 1Now the whole earth had one language and one speech. 2And it came to pass, as they journeyed from the east, that they found a plain in the land of Shinar, and they dwelt there. 3Then they said to one another, “Come, let us make bricks and bake them thoroughly.” They had brick for stone, and they had asphalt for mortar. 4And they said, “Come, let us build ourselves a city, and a tower whose top is in the heavens; let us make a name for ourselves, lest we be scattered abroad over the face of the whole earth.” 5But the Lord came down to see the city and the tower which the sons of men had built.
Just breaking down the scripture for you, there are a few points;
The power of intentions will attract God’s attention.(… But the Lord came down to see the city and the tower which the sons of men had built.)
Intention brings in innovations and inventions, from that scripture in Genesis 11 marked the invention of construction industry not only that but the idea of skyscrapers (monument that reaches to the sky).
3Intention alone is not enough, he has a twin called consistency. The Great Zimbabwe ruins was not built in one day. Imagine 300 years ago there was not so much technology to cut those stones, but it was done and up to now we go and reflect and learn a lot from this architecture.
God bless you, believing that you will start to be intentional in whatever you do!
I have been meditating about the future generation. We might lose a generation because of drugs. The enemy is on a rampage in our streets. The sad thing is our schools have not been spared either. We can see that indeed the enemy is here to kill, steal and destroy posterity. What will become of […]
EvidenceMutumbu 